


First Trek

by 8Verity8



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019), Star Trek
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Star Trek Fusion, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Remix, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:27:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22487893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8Verity8/pseuds/8Verity8
Summary: Roswell/Star Trek AU set in Beamirang's Ad Astra UniverseAlex Manes and Michael Guerin are roommates at Starfleet Academy that are still very much in the "getting to know you" phase of their friendship (relationship?) when Alex has a nightmare that is worse than the others--far worse. Michael is hesitant at first about waking him, but in the end, his instinct to help Alex overrides everything else.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37
Collections: RNM Fanfic Remix 2020





	First Trek

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> This is set in Beamirang's Ad Astra Universe, which I LOVE! It's so good, if you haven't read it yet, then you definitely should! In that story we get quite a few flashback scenes. I decided to write a short story in that same vein--that is a unique moment that hasn't already been addressed specifically in the original story, but which builds off of hints and tidbits that were dropped about their Starfleet years. I hope you enjoy!

There it is.

Another whimper, floating through the stillness as Michael gazes into the inky blackness, his stare attempting to penetrate the darkness that fills the room.

An oppressive silence descends over the space but is quickly chased off by the whisper of fabric against fabric. A muffled thump follows, starting a crescendo of sound that peaks with a ragged gasp before another whimper splits the air. And then everything goes still and quiet once more.

Michael hesitates, maybe the nightmare is over. Alex hardly sleeps as it is, he would hate to wake him if its passed.

Nightmares are a problem he’s intimately familiar with. He knows all about the exquisite torture that can be inflicted by one’s own psyche. Only those who have experienced it can truly know what torment a memory can inflict.

It’s something he and Alex have in common. He doesn’t have details, doesn’t know  _ why _ Alex is tormented by his past… but he’s seen—and heard—enough to recognize a kindred spirit.

The silence stretches on as Michael hesitates.

The problem is that Alex doesn’t know… doesn’t know that  _ Michael _ knows _.  _ Michael hasn’t told him and he’s not even sure if he should. They’ve only been roommates for a couple weeks and while Alex is cordial enough (and they seem to be something akin to friends) he can’t ignore the fact that Alex is the  _ son  _ of Admiral Manes. He’s the golden boy of Starfleet Academy while Michael’s just an orphan that managed to slip in somehow, with nothing more to his name that some good test scores and the goodwill of Admiral Manes. 

He can’t afford to get on Alex’s bad side. Starfleet is all he has.

He’s holding his breath as his ears strain in the silence and the tension builds… It’s coiling in his gut now, making him nauseous, as he waits for a sound he hopes doesn’t come. His hand clenches more tightly on the covers as he wills this nightmare to pass. For Alex’s breathing to even out and for him to slip into the dreamless sleep Michael knows he so desperately needs.

A scream rips through the air.

“Computer. Lights.” The words are frantic and breathless as he shoots across the room.

“No. Please,” Alex gasps, choking on air and clawing at the mattress as he thrashes about. “Don’t kill them. You don’t have to, please—”

“Alex,” Michael reaches out, hesitant to spook him further, and lightly touches Alex’s shoulder. “Come on Alex, wake up.”

“No! No, don’t kill me. I’ll be good. I promise, please. I’ll—” 

Tears well up in his eyes when Alex shrinks away from his touch and curls in on himself. Gritting his teeth Michael grabs him more securely, trying to gentle his voice as he gives Alex a firmer, more determined shake. “Come on Alex, I need you to wake up now.”

Alex stills and for a minute Michael thinks he’s succeeded but then the whimpering starts up again. A single tear tracing a wet path down his cheek. It catches Michael’s eye and momentarily distracts him.

“All dead—” Alex’s voice is small, but more than enough to drag Michael’s focus back to the goal at hand. “They’re all dead.”

“Alex!” It’s not a shout, but it’s close. This nightmare isn’t like the others—It’s worse, so much worse—and Michael’s starting to freak out now. Intellectually he knows this isn’t the right way to wake someone up from a nightmare like this, but Alex needs to wake up  _ now _ and gentle isn’t working. He can ask for forgiveness later. “Alex, wake up!”

“Fuck!” 

A knee to the stomach sends him hurtling as Alex comes to with a gasp. After a quick moment to reorient himself he grasps onto the bed frame and slowly pulls himself off the floor. 

“Oh my god—” Alex’s eyes widen the minute he notices him... and Michael, well Michael freezes like a Kelpien in a tractor beam, his forgotten panic rising up again.

“Please tell me I didn’t hurt you,” Alex continues, sidelining Michael’s internal freak out. “Fuck, I thought I had it under control. I swear I didn’t mean to—”

“Wait, what?” Confusion quickly replaces his earlier panic and he blurts out the first thing that pops into his head, “Why the fuck are you apologizing for having a nightmare?”

“Because I hurt you, you moron.” 

That’s better, he feels the ground solidifying beneath him once again and can’t help the cocky smile he gives Alex in return.

“Do I  _ look _ hurt to you?” 

He gestures down at himself, his smile growing more sure when Alex’s eyes trace slowly down his bare chest, lingering at his hips for a moment, before hastily flicking back up again. For a moment there's something there, but before he can think too deeply on it Alex rolls his eyes and waves him off with a dismissive scoff. His lips are twitching with just the hint of a smile though, so Michael’s going to call it a win. Fond exasperation he can work with… 

“Well, I’m sorry for waking you up then,” Alex offers instead, a sincerity suffusing his features that belies the sarcastic tone.

“Its cool, I was already awake,” Michael shrugs. “I mean, I don’t really sleep that well anyways, so—”

“Yeah, me neither.” Alex gives him a small smile, peering up at him through his lashes, and Michael’s breath catches in his throat—well that’s inconvenient. “Give you three guesses why.”

“Why?” Michael chokes out. Stupidly, as it happens, because he knows the answer. A quirked eyebrow from Alex tells him that Alex knows that too… and now he’s probably wondering why Michael is being such an awkward dumb ass.

“Anyway, I should probably—”

“Wanna do something?”

They both speak at once and Michael feels his cheeks warm at the look of surprise Alex gives him.

“I mean—well, um… it helps. Doing something, that is. Or at least it helps me, to get your mind off it, you know.” Michael’s face is flaming at this point as he stumbles over his words, but the affectionate smile Alex is giving him is the real problem. It’s starting to make him feel warm in other places too and he’s not sure if he’s ready to face all that just yet.

“Yes.” Alex’s abrupt response interrupts his rambling thoughts nicely.

“Yes?”

“To doing something,” Alex explains, tilting his head to the side with a searching look. “Sounds nice, actually.”

“Oh,” Michael gawks at him for another second or two, distracted by Alex’s stupid face, before he physically shakes himself out of it. “Good, that’s good. Great, even. So yeah… anyways, what do you wanna do? We could watch a holographic novel… or I could read to you maybe? Or a game—”

“A game.” Alex interrupts excitedly, or at least what passes as excited for Alex. “I don’t suppose you play chess by any chance?” 

He looks so hopeful that Michael would have said, “yes” even if he didn’t. As it so happens he’s awesome at chess, he  _ loves _ it.

“Oh, I play chess all right.” Michael’s face is hurting from the Cheshire grin he’s sporting, but he can’t make himself stop. “I should warn you though, I’m  _ really _ good.”

“And so humble too,” Alex smirks.

“Dude, it’s not bragging if it’s true. I’m just trying to be fair to you here,” he argues. “Seriously,  _ nobody’s _ beaten me before.

“ _ Really… _ ” Alex sits up a bit straighter, an evil gleam entering his eyes as he sizes Michael up. “Well, you know what they say, there’s always a first time for everything.”

**Author's Note:**

> So... this turned a lot more angsty then I originally intended. That being said, in the source material Michael has his own reasons for having ptsd and it was Jesse Manes that rescued him out of that (to his frame of thinking when he first arrives at Starfleet) and Jesse Manes that got him into Starfleet. So Michael has a lot of reasons to be conflicted about any feelings related to Alex Manes that have nothing to do with the Gay aspect of the (potential) relationship. I tried to convey that here. 
> 
> Michael LIKES Alex, but he's also still getting to know Alex and he's wary because whether he would or not Alex has the power to take everything from him--or so he believes. Put it all together and then add a nightmare theme and it get's angsty really fast. *I did end it on a happy/hopeful note though, so there's that!*


End file.
